Will Not Fix
iOS app by PAOLO CATTI. Games · PAOLO CATTI
- Store rating
- 0 / 5
- Store rating count
- 0
- Download price
- 4.99 USD
- In-app purchases
- Unknown
- Version
- 1.0
- Listing last refreshed
- 2026-09-11
View the original store listing
Store description excerpt
Snake was released in 1997. It has not been updated since. You have commit access now. Every wave you clear, you ship a patch to the game you are playing. Some of them are fixes. Most of them are not. player no longer collides with self. gravity *= -1. enemies now drop enemies on death. The changes stack, they interact, and by version 1.0.20 you are playing something that is no longer really Snake and no longer really working. Somewhere, a maintainer is watching. Every five waves they ship a hotfix to undo your worst decisions. They get less polite as you go. Runs last about twenty minutes. They end with a changelog, the complete, ordered list of everything you did to this game, and a final line explaining exactly what killed you. That list is the point. It is meant to be shared. • 90 hand-written patches that interact rather than just stack • A maintainer who fights back • One daily build, the same for everyone, one attempt • Alternate branches, including one where the base game is not Snake at all • No ads. No account required.
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